libraryjournal:

willywaldo:

millionsmillions:

“Renowned author Dan Brown got out of his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house and paced the bedroom, using the feet located at the ends of his two legs to propel him forwards.”

My reviewer loved The Da Vinci Code but I could not get past the first chapter. This brilliant parody of Brown’s clunky prose style shows why.

The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors. For some reason they found something funny in sentences such as “His eyes went white, like a shark about to attack.” They even say my books are packed with banal and superfluous description, thought the 5ft 9in man. He particularly hated it when they said his imagery was nonsensical. It made his insect eyes flash like a rocket. 

I laughed at loud at the last sentence. Hoo boy.

(via salmiakkivodka)

pospiscal:

sexual orientation: not u

(via klainemalfoy)

(via atrailofstardust)

lundora:

This just in: if you reblog a post saying you’ll hate anyone who doesn’t reblog it or that people who don’t ain’t even human, it doesn’t make you a cool human rights activist it makes you a fucking idiot.

(via madmanwithclaws)

thecarpenterwizard:

The World’s End| teaser trailer

(via badgerofbaskerville)

therenostudio:

Pier. Brighton, Uk.

otterymary:

for lemonison

(via j-moriarty)

P. G. Wodehouse, “Jeeves and the Unbidden Guest”

(Source: sebastian-flyte, via johnhwatson-)

(Source: ineffableboyfriends, via somethingsherlockish)

arcoirisamor:

dominantlife:

fuckyeahsexyatheists:

jaqen-hghars:

tyleroakley:

Well this is awkward.

#the best argument against the bible is the bible 

“The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.” — Mark Twain

(Source: mc-xc, via xroadsdemon)

jensensations:

Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal (x)

(via klainemalfoy)

hanniballecters:

“Friendship, knitting, ….murder” 

omg

(Source: mischalecters, via thegestianpoet)

(Source: fuckyeahbodypositivity, via mycroftismight)

[x]

(Source: youshouldhaveletmesleep, via ronaldoinmypants)